Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough to let it go…

1980

Originally uploaded by Gothamgal1998

This is me and my father. I think it was taken in 1980. I had blue eyes, short curly hair and really big cheeks, LOL.
Look at how pale I was, and still am.
I adore my ears in this picture. and the fact that I’m so fixated on something, but I have no idea now what was drawing my attention. My arms look like people arms, not like baby arms. There’s a bit of red under my eyes.
My father holds me up, it looks like he’s getting ready to say something, but I don’t know what.

I found a mix cd I made from iTunes for a book that I wrote a few years ago. It’s hard to believe that I wrote ‘The Last’ in 2007. The story most definitely needs reworked and tightened–I think I know the characters a bit better than I did then, and there’ s always the grace of experience that allows you to look back at something with a clearer eye.

I was originally inspired by this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDEEzS7OV2k. The song is called ‘Almost Lover’ by A Fine Frenzy. The vocals are haunting, and every time I hear this song, my heart goes out to someone who’s been through this. I particularly like:

I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you’re gone and I’m haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

And then I found the perfect song to characterize the relationship between the main character and her protector: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GuX-F08fwI. This song is called ‘Your Guardian Angel’ and it’s by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (weird name, I know).  The lyrics that fit their relationship best are:

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you, I’ll be the one

I will never let you fall
I’ll stand up with you forever
I’ll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to Heaven

‘Cause you’re my, you’re my, my
My true love, my whole heart
Please don’t throw that away

I don’t know what just prompted me to listen to the cd. I don’t know why I’m interested, all of a sudden, in refining this story, the relationship between these two characters. Resolving their problems seems to be on my mind. But, until they are resolved, do characters tend to live within the minds of the authors who create them?

A little boy at heart

Originally uploaded by Gothamgal1998

On St. Patrick’s Day, I have to talk about the Patrick in my life–my Papa. This was taken on the deck of the USS Midway in December of 2009.
Sure, he didn’t drive the snakes out of Ireland, but he has driven quite a fair number of ants out of the suburbs.
He doesn’t have an Irish accent, in fact, I don’t think he has ANY type of accent, unless he does the french ‘haw haw haw’ laugh that brings me to tears.
He’s fond of leather jackets, which I think is related to the fact that he loves planes. We went for Vietnamese food, which was lovely.
He knows wine and good food, and he parties at some of the most happening places (LOL), and he’s a coffee drinker.
When I think of him, I think of ‘Are you Being Served?’, ‘Monty Python’, George Michael’s ‘Faith’ album and the ‘Miami Vice’ soundtrack.
I’ve never been behind the wheel of a car with him in it, apart from theme parks.
He puts up with my incessant need to take pictures to document things. Answers the questions I have about all sorts of weirdness. Watches the ‘War Network’ (the group comprised of History Channel, Military Channel, etc). Took me to see ‘A Fish Called Wanda’ and ‘The Great Outdoors’ in the same summer.
Introduced me to comics, indirectly, as my Grandmama would give me the Tintin comics (en francais) that he had read as a boy because I needed something to read.
He took me to see the Lion King musical. He taught me an appreciation for planes and submarines.